Emotional and physical pain
Pain is a constant thing for me, really. I have constant lower back pain from scoliosis. On the days immediately preceding what I like to call, the curse, I have a good bit of pain. During the curse, the pain is often overwhelming.
I have PCOS. That's polycystic ovarian syndrome, for those that don't know. Part of the PCOS is this pain that comes with the curse. I'm not talking about cramps here. I'm talking about gut-wrenching pain. I get very angry when people talk about their little menstrual cramps, when they need to lie in bed with a heating pad, etc. It makes me furious, because I know the difference between that pain and real pain. My pain they could not handle.
Add to that physical pain the emotional pain that comes with the curse and that's where the overwhelming part comes in. When the curse finally does show its ugly self, it's just a reminder of what I'm lacking. What I don't have. What I probably can't have.
One of the many doctors I've had over the years noticed that I dilate during the curse. She got the bright idea to hook me up to a monitor and low and behold, guess what she found? The pain that I have during the curse is akin to early labor. Yes, LABOR!
Now isn't that a kick in the pants? Thanks a lot God, or Mother Nature, or the universe, or whoever.
I'm not going to let you have any children of your own, but I will allow you the fun-filled experience of LABOR every couple of months. How's that sound?
Great, just great.
That's how I'm doing today. Glad you asked?
I have PCOS. That's polycystic ovarian syndrome, for those that don't know. Part of the PCOS is this pain that comes with the curse. I'm not talking about cramps here. I'm talking about gut-wrenching pain. I get very angry when people talk about their little menstrual cramps, when they need to lie in bed with a heating pad, etc. It makes me furious, because I know the difference between that pain and real pain. My pain they could not handle.
Add to that physical pain the emotional pain that comes with the curse and that's where the overwhelming part comes in. When the curse finally does show its ugly self, it's just a reminder of what I'm lacking. What I don't have. What I probably can't have.
One of the many doctors I've had over the years noticed that I dilate during the curse. She got the bright idea to hook me up to a monitor and low and behold, guess what she found? The pain that I have during the curse is akin to early labor. Yes, LABOR!
Now isn't that a kick in the pants? Thanks a lot God, or Mother Nature, or the universe, or whoever.
I'm not going to let you have any children of your own, but I will allow you the fun-filled experience of LABOR every couple of months. How's that sound?
Great, just great.
That's how I'm doing today. Glad you asked?
posted by Brownie at
1:25 PM
1 Comments:
I had PID four times, was hospitalized for it twice, was told I had a 60% chance of becoming pregnant, then a 60% chance that it would be ectopic. I've been pregnant three times (possibly four), and none were ectopic. I got pregnant relatively easily, too. So doctors don't know dick.
Don't count yourself out, OK?
I am in pain every day of my life. Sciatica sends a throbbing, searing pain from my hip to my ankle. I have scoliosis, low-back pain, and something just recently diagnosed that I've forgotten--something about having my hip knitted to my muscle. I can't bend from side to side. My left arm is in constant pain since the fall.
I know others for whom pain is daily. My mom suffers from arthritis in her whole body, as well as bone spurs, trigger thumb, and various hand problems, for which she has many surgeries and cortsone injections that never fix the pain. She has been on all the meds that have been discontinued and now finds herself without remedy. She cries a lot.
Pain is awful. And your pain hurts more than the next guy's. For sure the world is full of whiners who can't take it. But there are a lot of us who share the misery. It interferes with sleep. It makes you bitter and angry and annoyed. I sometimes feel like a wounded animal. I bite everyone. Other times, life gets good, and I am able to block out the pain awhile.
Your life has had its ups and downs. I think you have more going on than just pain. There always seems to be something standing in the way of making the stand.
I think you're real terrific, Brownie Girl. Take a nap. Then take the stand.
doggy
By
fuquinay, at 12/03/2004 3:38 PM
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