Love will come to me...

I probably shouldn't listen to 'the girls' when I'm lonely. Now I'm depressed and lonely.


Love Will Come to You
The Indigo Girls

guess i wasn't the best one to ask
me myself with my face pressed
up against love's glass
to see the shiny toy i've been hoping for
the one i never can afford
the wide world spins and spits turmoil
and the nations toil for peace
but the paws of fear upon your chest
only love can soothe that beast
and my words are paper tigers
no match for the predators of pain inside her

i say love will come to you
hoping just because i spoke the words that they're true
as if i offered up a crystal ball to look through
where there's now one there will be two

i was born under the sign of cancer
(love will come to you)
like brushing cloth i smooth the wrinkles for an answer
(love will come)
i'm always closing my eyes and wishing i'm fine
(i close my eyes and wish you fine)
even though i know i'm not this time
(even though i know you're not this time)

i say love will come to you
hoping just because i spoke the words that they're true
as if i offered up a crystal ball to look through
where there's now one there will be two

dodging your memories a field of knives
always on the outside looking in on other's lives

i say love will come to you
hoping just because i spoke the words that they're true
as if i offered up a crystal ball to look through
(i have offered up to you)
where there's now one there will be two

and i wish her insight to battle love's blindness
strength from the milk of human kindness
a safe place for all the pieces that scattered
learn to pretend there's more than love that matters

His words, my feelings

Say goodbye to feeling sorry for myself
To begging others for far too much help
This is my hand, these are the cards that I've been dealt
Only I can make these changes, nobody else
Say goodbye to those sleepless nights
Those corridors with no end in sight
A driven [one] with these words I write
I'm making peace with my soul tonight

Ari Hest

All That We Let In

My beautiful and dear friend reminded me of this song this morning. Thank you.

All That We Let In
By: The Indigo Girls

Oooooooo
Oooooooo
Oooooooo

Dust in our eyes our own boots kicked up
Heartsick we nursed along the way we picked up
You may not see it when it's sticking to your skin
But we're better off for all that we let in

Lost friends and loved ones much too young
So much promises and work left undone
When all that guards us is a single centerline
And the brutal crossing over when it's time

Oooooooo
(I don't know where it all begins)
Oooooooo
(And I don't know where it all will end)
Oooooooo
(We're better off for all that we let in)

One day those toughies will be withered up and bent
The father son the holy warriors and the president
With glory days of put up dukes for all the world to see
Beaten into submission in the name of the free

We're in a nevolution I have heard it said
Everyone's so busy now but do we move ahead
The planets hurting and atoms splitting
And a sweater for your love you sit there knitting

Oooooooo
(I don't know where it all begins)
Oooooooo
(And I don't know where it all will end)
Oooooooo
(We're better off for all that we let in)

See those crosses on the side of the road
Tied with ribbons in the medium
They make me grateful I can go this far
Lay me down and never wake me up again

Kat writes a poem and she sticks it on my truck
We don't believe in war and we don't believe in luck
The birds were calling to her what were they saying
As the gate blew open the tops of the trees were swaying

I've passed the cemetery walk my dog down there
I read the names in stone and say a silent prayer
When I get home you're cooking supper on the stove
And the greatest gift of life is to know love

Oooooooo
(I don't know where it all begins)
Oooooooo
(And I don't know where it all will end)
Oooooooo
(We're better off for all that we let in)

Dreamin' is Free

My mind has been wandering a lot today. So many thoughts running through my head, I need to somehow get them in order and take a look at them. Maybe I can figure them out, get some clarity of mind and spirit.

Music - I've been listening to the oldies station all morning, but for some reason (although I haven't heard the song in forever) a song keeps popping up in my brain. I've caught myself humming or singing it both out loud and in my head. Odd. I wonder what it means? Maybe the song is trying to tell me something. I'd almost forgotten how much I used to love Blondie. Deborah Harry really has a hell of a voice, so distinctive, such a range. Hmm.

Blondie - Dreaming

When I met you in the restaurant.
You could tell I was no debutante.
You asked me what's my pleasure, "A movie or a measure."
I'll have a cup of tea and tell you of my dreaming.
Dreaming is free.
I don't want to live on charity.
Pleasure's real or is it fantasy?
Reel to reel is living rarity.
People stop and stare at me,
We just walk on by; we just keep on dreaming.
Feet feet: walking a two mile.
Meet meet: meet me at the turnstile.
I never met him, I'll never forget him.
Dream dream: even for a little while.
Dream dream: filling up an idle hour.
Fade away, radiate.
I sit by and watch the river flow.
I sit by and watch the traffic go.
Imagine something of your very own;
Something you can have and hold.
I'd build a road in gold just to have some dreaming.
Dreaming is free.

One of my other thoughts, I guess sort of connects to the music thing, because it's about dreams. I rarely remember mine. I had such a good time yesterday helping out a bunch of people who were currently, or previously having some recurring dreams. I tried to help them sort it out, gave them some common interpretations. It was fun. I love dream interpretation. I think dreams are sort of a peek into the complexities of our minds. We use so little of our brain, it's as if when we sleep our mind is free to do as it pleases, stretch its muscles a bit and get something done that it finds more worthwhile than our daily lives. Imagine if we could actually tap into that and use our brains to their full capacity. Amazing.

Anyway, the dream thing. Lately, I've been dreaming that I'm pregnant. There are a few different interpretations for dreaming that you're pregnant. The simplest is that you actually ARE pregnant and your brain is trying to clue you into that fact. It could be that you're afraid you might become pregnant, or that you worry of complications in a pregnancy when you do become pregnant. None of those really apply to me.  The other avenue is that you're giving birth to new life (physically or creatively) which could simply be changes within yourself making you a new person. It can also signify creativity, new-found ability to be inventive, or that you're prepared to produce something (not necessarily an actual child). Perhaps there is a birth of something wonderful on my horizon.

Musicians

LCD, you're a drummer. Drummers are weird. You're weird. But, it's a cool weird, not a scary weird. Plus, I like weird.

Bass players are a very strange breed. That's all that needs to be said.

I'm a musical gal though folks. So, I guess I'm weird too.

Musicians are not scum.

People can be scum, both men and women. Their profession has nothing to do with their degree of scumminess.

That's my take.

Music, my escape ...

I'm in the office alone today. 2 songs keep running through my mind. I try to push them away. I turn up the radio and sing along. These 2 songs keep taking turns running in the back of my mind no matter what I do.

I'm such a sap.

Bonnie Raitt
I Can't Make You Love Me

Turn down the lights, turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me, tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don't patronize - don't patronize me

'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't

I'll close my eyes, then I won't see
The love you don't feel when you're holding me
Morning will come and I'll do what's right
Just give me till then to give up this fight
And I will give up this fight

'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't


George Straight
You Can't Make A Heart Love Somebody

At a table for two
With candlelight and wine
That diamond burnin' holes in his pockets
Thinkin' now's the perfect time
When he popped the question he could see
The teardrops fill her eyes
She said I knew this was comin', and I'm sorry
But I hope you realize

You can't make a heart love somebody,
You can tell it what to do
But it won't listen at all
You can't make a heart love somebody
You can lead a heart to love
But you can't make it fall.

Then she reached for his hand
And said I want you to know
I've done everything that I know of
To make the feelin' grow
I've begged and I've pleaded with my heart
But there's no gettin' through
My heart's the only part of me
That's not in love with you

You can't make a heart love somebody,
You can tell it what to do
But it won't listen at all
You can't make a heart love somebody
You can lead a heart to love
But you can't make it fall.

You can lead a heart to love
But you can't make it fall.